


Save Me From The Monsters

by Fandomafterfandom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alone, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Boyfriends, Depression, Eating Disorders, Falling In Love, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-01-04 21:30:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12176913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomafterfandom/pseuds/Fandomafterfandom
Summary: Monsters don't live under your bed, they live inside your head.When Narcissa finds her son Draco lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, she doesn't hesitate and takes him straight to hospital to treat him, despite Draco's protests.Little does he know that falling in love with the Doctor would help him get over his depression and suicide attempts.





	1. Chapter 1

Lies after lies, it's all just a game to see which lie you can think of next so no one knows how depressed you really are.

Just a cut?

Just a scratch.

"What's that mark?

"Oh it was the cat."

What a lie, what an excuse.

"Why do you look so tired?"

"Just had a busy day why?."

More like a tear and a scream.

But its not just a tear, a scream a lie or a cut, no its much more than that, and you'll give one little more of everything until you die.

Because you see everyone will check your wrists not your thighs, they will hear your laugh but not your cries, smile a lot, laugh often, make jokes and tell constant lies. This will disguise the depression in your eyes, just keep calm and carry on cutting, one step closer to the vein, a little slip of the razor. a distorted image in the mirror. One step closer to saying goodbye.

This was his life, cut after cut, lie after lie and tear after tear. Life wasn't perfect. life was dark and lonely and Draco Malfoy saw the truth behind that. He understood the cruel world we live in and he didn't want to live anymore. he was a broken angel wanting to go home and he knew that he didn't belong on this Earth.

This is a story of how Draco kept on falling deeper and deeper into depression, and how Doctor Potter saved his life. A story of how a Doctor fell in love with his patient, and the patient in love with his Doctor


	2. Cutting

Pills on the bedside tables, a gun under the bed. A razorblade in the bathroom sink, a bloodstained carpet. A blacked out room. This was a bedroom of someone crying out for help, a bedroom of a depressed and scared little boy. Someone Like Draco Malfoy.

Draco picked up the pills and emptied the bottle onto the bed, only three sleeping tablets remained that wasn't enough to kill himself. He went under his bed and picked up his gun, held it in his mouth and with shaky hands held the trigger. But he couldn't do it, killing himself in that way will set of warnings, the whole neighbourhood would hear, he couldn't think about what would happen when his parents find their son with a blow to the head. That's not how he wanted to die. In fact he didn't even know if he wanted to die, it was just a cry for help, so maybe another option would be better.

Draco walked over to the bathroom sink and grabbed the razorblade, not looking at himself in the mirror he didn't want to see the person he had become, cuts all over his body, sleepless nights, a fragile body and neglect from not looking after himself properly it wouldn't be a pretty sight. so he took the blade and returned to his bedroom.

He took in a deep breath and  placed the blade on his wrist, closed his eyes and craved the blade into his skin. There was a silver blade against his wrist and tears falling down to his lips. The blood crimson red, these were words he could not explain. The way to hide his pain as he pressed deeper and deeper, not caring about the consequences. Just because he's smiling doesn't mean he's happy. He's tired of living but scared of dying.

Draco let out a breath and traced his fingers along his wrist, smudging the blood across his wrist smiling at himself. He couldn't explain but the feeling he felt after carving his wrist and the way the blade felt on his wrist was mesmerising, the intense pain he got afterwards was soothing and the way the cut formed perfectly on his skin was beautiful.

Go on Draco what are you waiting for? Keep on cutting, just cut a little deeper, a little harder, until your body feels heavy, you start to feel numb due to the pain and your heart begins to race, and your eyes become sleepy, keep on cutting until your head hits the floor and your lying in a pool of your own blood.

Draco often wondered why he felt like this, he had a loving family, friends that cared for him, he got everything he ever wanted but yet he wasn't happy.  Maybe it was his past that haunt him, the tragic mistake that happened three years ago...

Draco lifted up the blade and held it to the little light he had in his bedroom, he then laughed a little and smiled at the blade.

"It's just you and me buddy, forever and always. You're my only friend." Draco said, he then lower the blade and started on cutting himself again, one on the thigh, one the wrist, thigh, wrist, thigh wrist, repeat.

Draco remembered the day when he first found out about cutting.

_Three years ago, a little boy was sitting in the school cafeteria eating his lunch, he was a lot bigger than the other kids, he didn't have any muscles no he was just fat, alone and depressed scared of the bullies who would hurt him everyday. No this boy wasn't Draco, Draco was one of those bullies. He walked up to the little boy and picked up a cup full of juice and poured it all over the little boy, everyone in the cafeteria laughed. Draco then picked up the little boys pasta and throws that on the floor. He grabbed the boy by the hair and threw him to the floor and pushed the boy down so he's inches from the dirty floor._

_"Eat it Piggy." Draco shouted_

_In which the boy was begging Draco, tears streaming down the little boys face, but Draco pushed harder, giving the little boy no choice but to eat the food on the floor. Draco looked around the room and smiled at everyone. Once the food had been eaten he let go of the little boy, the little boy sat up and ran away crying._

_The next few days and the little boy didn't show. No one seemed to notice or worry though, that was until they had a school assembly and the head teacher explained that the little boy known as "Danny Finch." passed away, his parents found him hanging in his bedroom._

To this very day Draco felt responsible for little Danny Finch's life, Draco liked to think he didn't have anything to do with the boys death. But as time went on Draco knew it was all his fault, if he hadn't bullied this kid, humiliated him for four years of high school, maybe Danny Finch would still be alive now. So you could say this was the main reason in why Draco cut, he wanted to feel pain, he wanted to feel guilt. He wanted Danny finch to know how sorry he was and how much he wished it was him who was dead instead of Danny.

Draco kept so much pain inside himself, he grasped so much pain and anger inside his chest, this changed him into something he never wanted to be. It transformed him into something he didn't recognise. But he didn't know how to let it go and a part of him didn't want to. His depression was a part of him, he had lived countless days and nights fighting the monsters in his head. Trying so hard not to give in to the voices but never succeeding. That he wasn't sure what life would be like without the monsters, without the blade. They were the only things he loved in this cruel fucking world and he wasn't sure if he could ever let that go.

 

He was drowning but nobody saw his struggle and when they finally did...

 

It was too late.

 

 

 

Draco was already gone.


	3. dont take me away

Draco rubbed his eyes, opened them slowly and looked around the room, squinting ever so slightly so he could adjust to the brightness.

 

"Dad? What's going on?" Draco whispered

 

"You fucking idiot Draco." Lucius shouted.

 

"Why are you yelling at me?"

 

"Your mother is scared to see you, she found you on the floor Draco, covered in blood. You weren't breathing she thought you were dead!" 

 

"I didn't want her to find me, I'm sorry."

 

"If you wanted to kill yourself Draco you wouldn't have done it in our home, we would have found you eventually."

 

"I never meant for any of this to happen, I just wanted to feel pain. I deserve to die."

 

"Son, this depression has gone on for long enough."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Were sending you away Draco, it's a hospital for people with mental health problems." Lucius said trying not to cry. 

 

"I'll get the help I need at home. Don't send me away please." Draco begged.

 

"We tried to get you help before but that didn't work, were running out of options. This hospital will help you, you won't have any contact from the outside world. We won't be able to visit you until you've been there for at least three months and making progress. It's a good opportunity and we've already met your doctor. He seems really nice. His name is Doctor Potter."

 

"No dad please, I can change. I will change." 

 

Lucius just shook his head and walked out of the room, Draco stared at the door and saw his dad talking to his mum, he focused hard to try and concentrate on what they were saying.

 

"Narcissa, please just go and talk to him. He needs his mother." Lucius begged.

 

"That boy in there is not my son, I lost him years ago." 

 

"He's in tears, he's broken and needs help. He thinks we don't love him anymore,  that we don't care. You've got to speak to him."

 

"Why me Lucius, why cant you?"

 

"We aren't close, he has a stronger bond with you, you're his mother Narcissa. He needs you."

 

Narcissa nodded, took in a deep breath, opened the door and walked over to a crying Draco.

 

"Baby, you understand what's happening don't you?" Narcissa said, intertwining Draco's hand with hers.

 

Draco looked at his mother, tears falling down to his lips, he took in a deep breath and shook his head.

 

"You're ill baby, you have depression and we can't look after you anymore. I want you to understand this Draco, you're our son, and we will always be here for you and waiting for you when you come back. It will change you into the Draco we knew and loved."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Shhh, you don't need to be sorry sweetie. You've just lost yourself and that's okay, you've just got to reach inside of you and be the person we know you are. So you be a good boy and go to this hospital and get better. Don't do it for me and your father, do it for you."

 

Draco kept what his mother said with him throughout his whole journey to the hospital, but when he arrived at the hospital he refused to get out the car. He wasn't crazy he shouldn't be in a hospital.

 

"Don't take me away." Draco screamed, kicking the two doctors and trying to climb over to the front of the car so he could drive away.

 

"Oh Mr Malfoy, enough of this nonsense you are a grown man not a boy." 

 

Draco looked up to see a rather skinny boy, he had brown hair and green eyes, he had thick rimmed glasses on and on his forehead there appeared to be a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt. The man gave Draco a warming smile and stretched out his hand for Draco to take, in which he did.

 

"Who are you?" Draco asked, walking up the steps with the man, his arm draped around Draco's waist.

 

"I'm Harry but you must call me Doctor Potter, I'm here to save your life, welcome to Havenwood hospital." Harry said opening the white doors to the hospital. 

 


	4. The long hours

Every day Draco woke up, he went to the cafeteria, and refused breakfast. He then had a group meeting in where he didnt participate, he then sat on the sofa stared at a blank wall for hours whilst everyone around him danced, drew, watched tv and played games. Draco wasn’t joining in, then it was lunch, he didn’t eat again. Then a meeting with mr Potter, where he didn’t talk, then staring at the blank walls, then dinner, where yet again he didn't eat, then more blank wall staring then bed.

This was on repeat every single day. But everyday Draco had courage “today is going to be different. Something will happen.” He would Think to himself. 

Draco walked into Mr Potters room and sat down, he looked at the clock and sighed, Harry took out his pen and paper and sat opposite Draco.

“You came to us three weeks ago Draco and you’ve gotten worse. The nurses tell me you’re not eating now...”

“I don’t like the food.” Draco said.

“At last he speaks to me. What’s wrong with the food?”

“I’m just not hungry, I want to go home.”

“Then you must get better Draco.” 

“Okay.”

“Are you willing to try?” Harry Asked.

“Well if it will get you to leave me the fuck alone... I’ll try anything.” Draco replied.

“So Draco what’s your favourite meal?”

“Why are you asking me that, shouldn’t you be asking me about why I’m suicidal?”

“All will be asked in due course Draco. I want to know what food you like because if we get over your new found eating problem it will help us, help us to tackle the main problems later.”

“Oh I understand. Tackle the small problems first so I feel comfortable around you...”

“Exactly, so what’s your favourite food?”

“Pizza.” Draco answered.

“What kind?”

“All kind and any kind.”

“Right okay, so why don't I call up Pizza hut tomorrow."

"What for?"

"Why do you think Draco? So we can eat the pizza and feel comfortable, I know this is hard and the food here isn't exactly pleasant so each day I will bring food in to our meetings, we can eat and talk. How does that sound?" Harry said pushing his glasses firmly onto his nose.

"Sure."

" Right well that's our lesson over for today, it was just a quick one, I was late today. We shall pick this up tomorrow, thank you for speaking to me Draco. It’s progress.”

Draco smiled and walked out the door, he went to his original spot and stared at the walls. 

There was something about Harry in which Draco liked, maybe it was the way he talked, the way he looked. Harry seemed very geeky, he wasn’t your average doctor who didn’t care, harry seemed to genuinely care about his patients. He was professional but calm and sweet. Draco liked that.

But Draco knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he had lost so much in his life and there was a part of him that couldn’t open up to Harry. He was scared about harry knowing the real reason of his depression. He didn’t want Harry to ever find out about little Danny Finch.

It wasn’t a very pleasant story and Draco didn’t think he could tell people. Draco felt so much pain, it was a horrible feeling, He had to live with what he did everyday.

Because you see Draco has been stabbed in the back by those he needed the most. He had been lied to by those he thought he could trust and lastly he felt alone when he didn’t want to be. He felt like he couldn’t trust anyone.

But that wasn’t the sad part of all of this because you see deep inside where everything was fine Draco had lost his fucking mind.


	5. Why are you depressed?

Draco walked into Harry’s office and sat down in his chair, he took in a deep breath and smelt the freshness of the pizza, he smiled to himself.

Harry handed Draco the box and he took out a slice, harry then took himself one too and watched as Draco gobbled it down, and taking another piece without hesitation.

“Oh my Draco, you don’t actually have an eating problem do you?” Harry asked.

“I never said I did, you just presumed I had one. I kind of just stopped eating when I arrived here because the food is disgusting.” Draco replied.

“Hmm okay. So I guess we have to tackle the big problems then.”

“On one condition.”

“Whats the condition Draco?”

“You bring food into every session I have with you.”

“And if I refuse?” Harry said.

“Then I won’t tell you anything.” Draco said smirking .

Harry just laughed, looked at Draco and nodded.

“Right Draco, some of these questions are going to sound stupid but I have to ask you them. It’s protocol. Do you understand?” Harry asked in which Draco nodded, harry readjusted his glasses and carried on “If you feel uncomfortable at any time and don’t feel ready to talk about certain subjects just say, now for the questions. Do you understand where you are?”

“Really Doctor Potter, you have to ask me that?”

“Yes, some people are in a state of confusion, like I said Draco it’s protocol.”

“Okay. Yes I do know where I am, I’m in havenwood mental institution.”

“Okay good. Do you understand why you’re in here?”

“Because I’m depressed.”

“Do you believe you’re depressed or is it because a family member has told you that?”

“These questions are so stupid...”

“I know they are, but they have to be asked.”

“I don’t know what to believe, I guess I am a little depressed.”

“Okay and why are you depressed?”

“Because of Danny Finch.” Draco whispered.

“Danny Finch? Who’s that?”

Draco looked at Harry and started to shake, he then burst into tears and buried his head in his hands, he clenched his hands together and dug deep into his palms with his nails.

“Draco, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get upset, look we don’t have to talk about him.”

Draco looked up and wiped his tears.

“I’m sorry.” Draco said.

“Why are you apologising?”

“Because I’ve just cried in front of you, I want to tell you believe me I do. But I can’t not yet.”

“That’s fine Draco, take your time, what can we do to take your mind off things?”

“Tell me about yourself.” Draco said wiping his nose and tears.

“Honestly I’m what you get, I’ve worked here for three years, graduated university with a degree in mental health.”

“Are you married? Do you have kids?”

“Oh... um no. It’s just me.” Harry said.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“You’re always apologising.”

“I guess I am, sorry.”

Harry looked at Draco and laughed, Draco then joined in.

“I do have a pet owl though.”Harry said.

“No way that’s so cool, what’s it called?”

“ Hedwig.”

“Awesome. I would love to have a pet, my parents always said animals will make the home smelly and dirty.” Draco moaned

“I can see where your parents are coming from.”

“Thank you Doctor Potter.”

“What for?”

“Just for I don’t know taking my mind of things. For being one of the few doctors who actually care about their patients.”

“Oh Draco you don’t need to thank me, I love this job and the people I help. But I’m afraid that’s the end of our session, we’ll carry on tomorrow. I want to talk about what you feel when you cut, I want to see if I can get you to do other things when you’re depressed.” Harry said standing up.

Draco nodded and stood up too, he walked over to Harry and stood there for a fleeting moment, he then pulled Harry into a massive hug squeezing him and taking in Harry’s scent. Harry was taken by surprise but he soon gave in and hugged Draco back.

A few minutes later and they let go of each other, Draco looked at Harry then at the door, he turned on his heels and walked straight out. Not daring to look back.

Harry smiled to himself and slumped down into his seat. He didn’t understand what had just happened but in that moment he didn’t want to let go of Draco.

He had never felt that way about any of his patients before, he had plenty of hugs but never any that felt that good. Never any that made him feel safe and warm.

Harry scratched his head, sat back and stared at the door. He took a big sigh and said out loud

“Am I falling in love with one of my patients?”


	6. The truth

Harry sat in his office writing notes about his last patient. When a sudden knock on the door came, he stood up and walked over to it and opened it.

“Oh hi Ron.” Harry said smiling at his best friend.

“Harry you need to come quickly.” Ron panicked.

“Why what is it?”

“It’s Draco Malfoy. I can’t explain Just come.” Ron said rushing out the door in which Harry followed.

Thoughts we’re going through Harry’s mind, he couldn’t help but feel responsible for Draco’s life.

“Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.” Harry said over and over again in his mind.

They arrived at Harry’s bedroom door, professor Dumbledore the doctor of the hospital was inside pacing up and down inside, Hermione who was a nurse was crouched over something.

Harry took in a deep breath and stepped inside, he walked over to Hermione and saw Draco in the corner, with newly formed scars and blood over his arms.

“What happened?” Harry asked.

“He didn’t come out for breakfast I thought I’d go check on him and I found him like this.” Hermione said.

“Well what did he use to cut himself?”

“We found a knife hidden under his pillow, the kitchen staff must have left in on the side so Draco picked it up.” Hermione said.

Professor Dumbledore huffed and stormed out of the room, Harry presumed he was going to talk to the kitchen staff.

Harry walked over to Draco and put his hand on his head, Draco opened his eyes and looked at Harry.

“I’m so sorry doctor Potter.”

“Again with the apologising Draco. You don’t need to be sorry, I’m here to help you. Listen why don’t you go with nurse Hermione Granger here and she can clean you up, make sure there’s no infection. Then come to my office straight away.” Harry said helping Draco to his feet.

Once Draco was stable Harry let go of Draco’s hand, but Draco grabbed it back, squeezed it tightly and said “thank you.” He then let go and went with Hermione.

Harry paced up and down his office waiting for Draco to knock on his office door. When there was a bang at the door Harry rushed towards it and opened the door, Draco stepped inside and closed it behind him.

Harry didn’t hesitate, he rushed towards Draco and pulled him into a hug squeezing his patient ever so tightly.

“I thought I lost you Draco, don’t you ever scare me like that again.” Harry said, letting go of Draco.

“Why do you care so much about me dr Potter?”

“Can you call me harry?”

“Okay, why do you care so much about me harry?”

“I... um-I um... well I care for all my patients Draco.”

“And you hug them and say shit like I thought I lost you?”

“No but I um...”

“It’s okay, you can say it harry, you like me don’t you?”

“That’s inappropriate behaviour. Sit down please Draco, I want to start our session.” Harry said sliding a box of donuts across the table for Draco to tuck into.

“Yes Mr Harry Potter sir. You’re the boss.” Draco said smirking picking up a donut.

“So I’m going to ask this question straight away and no bullshit answer with me Draco. Why did you try to kill yourself earlier today?”

Draco gulped loudly, put his fingers through his blonde hair and clenched his fists, he knew this moment would come. He couldn’t hide it forever. He was going to tell harry the truth.

“It was four years today.” Draco whispered.

“What was?”

“Four years ago today, was the day Danny Finch died and it was all my fault.”

“Why was it your fault Draco?”

“He committed suicide because I bullied him.” Draco said tears falling down his cheeks but he carried on “I tried so hard to fit in at school, the funny thing was three years before that I was the school freak, the loser, the nerd. Until one day I forgot my homework and I got detention I was mortified. I then met the popular kids, they were so nasty but I wanted to be one. They made me an offer, they said if I steal a poor kids money I’ll get to be in their gang. I didn’t want to steal anyone’s money so I took this Danny Finch boy to the bathroom and flushed his head down the toilet and recorded it and made him beg for mercy.  
I shared it online for everyone to see, I then got accepted into the popular gang, I even got to wear this coat and it went to my head..”

Harry looked up at Draco and saw his fists were clenching and his eyes were shut. Harry walked over to Draco and rested his hand on his, harry then felt Draco relax a little Draco opened his eyes and looked at Harry.

“It’s okay Draco take your time.” Harry said soothingly.

Draco squeezed Harry’s hand and carried on   
“A year went by and I became I guess the leader of the popular pack. Day in and day out I made sure Danny Finch was my victim, I would do countless things to him, unimaginable things to him, I would laugh and make sure there was a crowd. People feared me. Until one day when the head teacher told us that he had hung himself. I broke down, I hung up my coat and dropped out of school, I couldn’t face being there after what I did. I drove a poor innocent boy to suicide all because of popularity.”

“And that’s why you became depressed why you wanted to kill yourself today?”

“Yes, I hated what I became, I was a monster. It wasn’t me, I mean it was but I got carried away. People relied on me I was pretending to be something I wasn’t and I guess over time I enjoyed hurting people, I enjoyed being a bully and that sickens me. It scares me to death because I know that somewhere inside of me there’s that Draco waiting to come out. I’m scared that if I let anyone in I’ll end up hurting them.”

“Okay were going to do an exercise, imagine I’m Danny Finch, imagine you’ve just killed me and I’ve come back, what would you like to say?”

“But you’re not Danny, you’re my doctor.”

“I know that Draco, Just play along with me Okay?”

“fine.”

“Start when you’re ready.”

Draco took in a deep breath and started to speak “hi Danny, I just want to say how sorry I am for making your life a misery, I use to be where you were, I was bullied too. Not as severe as you but I wanted people to see that they should fear me, they couldn’t drag me down any longer. I just wish you had the same strength and determination I did. I wish you fought back and ended me, I wish you had bought a gun or knife to school and killed me. You didn’t deserve to die, you had your whole life to live up to. You were so clever Danny and I could see you becoming a doctor and finding a cure for cancer or some shit like that. I am so sorry, I regret it everyday. Please forgive me.” Draco then burst into tears.

Harry ran up to Draco and wiped his tears, wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy, Draco leaned in and cried.

“T-thank y-y-you h-h-harry.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because I got my problems out in the open, it was such a relief to tell someone and it makes me feel a lot better in myself. I can see how much you care for your patients harry and I need that.”

“What you did was foolish but I understand why you did it.”

“You do?” Draco asked sitting up and staring at harry.

“Yes, you were bullied before... you didn’t want to go back there, you were getting your anger out of being hurt and upset for those previous years. You shouldn’t feel to blame on Danny’s life, I’m not saying it’s not your fault, because some of it is, but it’s a vicious circle. If you had never gotten bullied in the first place you wouldn’t have bullied Danny, you wouldn’t have tried to commit suicide, you wouldn’t be here right now talking to me. Everything happens for a reason Draco whether we like it or not.”

“I guess, thank you for everything Harry.”

“Of course, I’m here to help. Do something for me, I want you to write down everything you’re feeling when you wake up and when you go to bed. If anything triggers you to harm yourself or anyone around you during the day write it down. Each lesson we will analyse it and talk about what you did and how you felt.”

“Write down everything, like every emotion?”

“Well yes. Everything you feel comfortable in telling me.” Harry said handing Draco a book and a pen.

Draco nodded thanked Harry, ate one more donut and walked out of the office door.

Harry sat there for a moment thinking about those hugs he shared with Draco. He was such an idiot, he should have just kissed Draco but that would ruin everything, if someone found out his career would end, did he really want to risk all of that, did he really want to get caught and for Draco not to kiss him back?

After all Draco showed no interest in Harry, to Draco harry was just his doctor and Harry had to accept that he couldn’t let his judgement get in the way. He couldn’t let anything ruin the progress he made with Draco disappear all because of a kiss.

Could he?


	7. activities

Draco sat in the same spot in the lounge, staring at all the people around him, he started to think about his relationship with Harry and how Harry seemed to care way more then he should. Did Harry have this with all his patients? Or was Draco just special. Draco knew that Harry had a responsibility of care but not to the extent of hugging their patients saying "I thought I lost you." Draco wondered if Harry thought more of him than just a patient but that was stupid. It was unprofessional and Draco knew that Harry's career meant everything to him, but it excited Draco, it made Draco feel a little bit better about himself because someone actually cared.

 

Draco thought back to the moments when he felt something for Harry, that moment when they first hugged in Harry's office, the tingling feeling Draco got, the way he felt relaxed around Harry and the way he seemed to trust Harry with absolutely anything, their relationship wasn't normal and Draco wanted to take that step further. He wanted to do something but didn't know what. Somehow he had to try and escape or at least leave for a few hours so he could do something nice.

"Ron come out for drinks tonight, it's Harry's birthday tomorrow." Hermione groaned.

"It never ends well Hermione, we all have work tomorrow too." Ron replied.

"Well we'll all come into work with hangovers then."

Draco smiled to himself and ran up to Hermione and Ron who were both in the lounge watching all the patients. Draco took in a deep breath and just stared at Ron and Hermione.

"Can we help you Draco?" Hermione asked.

"Er yeah, can I please join kitchen duty this afternoon?" Draco asked.

"Why do you want to join, every time we asked you always laughed and said no." Ron answered.

"I know, but I've been her for eight months, and I'm actually getting better and those people who you can rely on to not harm themselves are allowed to cook stuff and I guess when I leave this place I will find my own house and I will have to learn."

"Draco, sweetie, you've tried to kill yourself four times in the last three months, the first time I found you I was so scared, but now it's a cry for help, so I don't think you should be in the kitchen. It's not the right time, you're in denial you are not getting better." Hermione said.

"Don't you sweetie me, that's so patronising. You don't know the reason why I tried to kill myself all those times, you know nothing about me. Just please let me, I want to bake."

"I'll have to go and talk to Doctor Potter see what he says.

"Thank you Nurse Granger." Draco said smiling and running off.

He sat back on his seat and took out his notepad and started to write down a few things for his session in a few hours with Harry, he then ripped out the middle page and started to sketch a cake, chocolate cake with a vanilla topping. It may sound weird but Draco wanted to bake a cake for Harry not only a birthday cake but a little something to say thank you. He tucked the sketch in his back pocket and walked to Harry's office.

Draco walked in and sat down, he greeted Harry and handed Harry his notepad. Harry smiled at Draco and opened it up to the latest page and read it.

**_"I know I messed up a few days ago, yet again but I don't want to be that depressed boy anymore, I blame myself entirely for Danny's death but that is something I will have to live with and I know over time I will get over that. I have to admit something though when I first came here I hurt some of the other patients, I was just rebelling and didn't want people to get in my way, and for that I am sorry. I know that is wrong now and I'm willing to change. I will change."_ **

Harry looked up and smiled at Draco, he closed the book and sat there for a moment.

"How are you going to focus on changing then Draco?" Harry asked.

"I um well..." Draco said he knew the answer but he couldn't say it out loud.

"That's not a good sign, you need to let go of the past Draco, focus on something that you love, focus on that and soon all your depression will hopefully fade away, once you face the facts that Danny Finch is dead and there's nothing you can do it may just make you realise that your life is worth living."

"I want to focus on you." Draco thought to himself but instead of saying that he just nodded.

"You're making a lot of progress Draco. I can see that."

"It's hardly progress Harry, I've tried to kill my self like four times in the past few months in being here, finding different methods, not succeeding but I've tried.

"That's true, but you actually asked to join in some activities we have here, nurse Granger told me you asked if you could join the cooking classes we hold here."

"Yeah, I mean I know your very specific in who you let to help out in the kitchen, it's normally those who don't have depression, those who have other illnesses but my parents haven't visited me not once, I think when I leave I want to start a new life on my own you know?"

"And I think that's great so I'm going to say yes you can join the kitchen classes but you are going to be monitored every second and if you harm yourself or others then you are to not step foot into the kitchen again, and you will be sectioned. Also speaking of your parents, they have tried to contact me but I kept on telling them they can't visit."

" thank you, I won't let you down. Why did you tell my parents that?"

"You weren't ready Draco, every time we get closer into you being discharged you fall back down. It's still baby steps Draco, there's something holding you back, I don't know what it is and I don't need to know, but you've got to get over that fear. This place isn't forever. You need to get out in the world."

"I want to see my parents please." Draco begged.

"I'll see what I can do. You are a very special person Draco." Harry said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know exactly, but I just know that you are going to achieve great things and one day make someone very happy. I see a great future for you Draco Malfoy."

"A future with you I hope." Draco mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, anyway thanks for the talk Harry but I have to go."

"I say when you're supposed to leave not you."

"Yeah but duty calls, thanks harry see you tomorrow." Draco said smiling and waving, he then closed the door and ran down the hall, running towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile Harry wondered what had just happened, He thought he knew Draco but every lesson was different. Draco showed so much promise when he was having sessions but when he was out in the open with other patients and colleagues his mood would change. Harry started to think it was because Draco had the same feelings that they both liked each other but didn't want to admit it. But then again Harry believed that was stupid, maybe he had another disorder and not just depression.

Because Draco couldn't be in love with his doctor, that would be just stupid.

 

Wouldn't it Harry?


	8. The kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, thanks for being patient, I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been super busy with university work that I haven't had time, but I am back now and ready to update thanks for all the kind messages about this story and supporting me throughout. 
> 
> I also apologise that this chapter is so short, I haven't really had time to focus, but I'm back now and next few chapters will be longer I promise.

Draco packed up the cake and walked towards Harry's office; he knocked on the door and didn't hear an answer, so he let himself in. Harry looked up and groaned, he was happy to see Draco, but he had the biggest hangover ever and really wished he wasn't at work. He knew drinking the night before a 12 hour shift was bad but he always thought it would be a good idea, but who was he kidding, partying all night getting in to bed at 6am and having to wake up an hour later for work. He wasn't as young as he use to be and he regretted taking drinking the next level that he comes into work still drunk.

“Draco, I didn’t know we had a session today.”

“We didn’t, I heard it was your birthday, so I made you a cake, it's chocolate with vanilla icing, it's not great but I just wanted to give you something to not only celebrate your day but to appreciate everything you do for me.”

Harry took in a deep breath looked at his patient and thought about what it was like to kiss him; he smiled and walked over to Draco.

"Fuck it." Harry mumbled.

 Harry pulled Draco into a hug. He then moved closer to Draco so he was just inches away from him. A rush of heat started in Draco’s chest and slowly spread throughout his body, he was so nervous, he had never kissed a boy before, let alone Harry. Draco could feel Harry’s eyes watching his every move, from the slight twitch of Draco’s lip to the way his shoulders rose and fell as he breathed. Harry leaned forward slowly, his hand brushing the hair out of Draco’s face, he looked up at Draco and smiled “You’re amazing Draco.” Harry whispered, and in an instant Harry’s lips were on Draco’s, they were rough and smooth, but Draco thought they were perfect. Harry moved them around in circles and Draco’s heart swelled. His breathing was deep and loud in Draco’s ear. Harry moaned and so did Draco. Harry then pulled away and grabbed Draco by the hand, he giggled and sat down in the chair burying his face in his pillow.

Draco sat there just staring at Harry he had waited a whole year for this to happen, session after session and he was making progress, hoping somehow Harry would make a move.

“Say something please, I just need to know how you felt after I kissed you.” Harry begged.

Draco just laughed, walked up to Harry and pulled him into another kiss wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist; he then pulled apart and said “Does that answer your question Doctor Potter?”

They both stood there for a moment, Harry stared at Draco and Draco stared at Harry, they didn’t say a word they didn’t have to. It was a moment in which they both knew where they stood.

"Er, thanks for the cake Draco, that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, I hope this cake cures my hangover." Harry laughed.

"You're welcome I hope it tastes nice."

"I'm glad you're here actually Draco, we need to talk, on a more professional level. I spoke to Doctor Dumbledore before I left work yesterday. I showed him your file and he saw how much progress you have made from when you first got emitted. Now he has given you three weeks, if you can prove to him you're better then you can be discharged go back to your normal life."

"Really? That's amazing news. Thank you. But what does that mean for us. I can't live a normal life without you."

"We will still have sessions Draco, twice a week and whenever you need me don't hesitate to drop by and if I'm not busy with other patients I will help you."

"What if I just want to say hello?"

"I'll give you my number so we can talk whenever you want."

"Thanks harry."

"No problem, now I really need to get a move on, I got another patient in 10 minutes I must prepare, see you tomorrow Malfoy."

Draco just smiled and walked out the door not saying anything, he didn’t have to, he knew what just happened and how Harry felt and that’s all that mattered, because in a few weeks Draco would be going home, he would still have lessons with Harry but he didn’t have to engage in the other activities. It would just be him and Harry in a room alone.

But on the other side of the door, reality hit. What was Harry doing? Draco was his patient; he had just kissed his patient. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Harry was supposed to wait until Draco’s sessions were over.

Harry slammed his head onto the desk and sighed.

“Oh Harry you stupid idiot. You can’t be in love with your patient, you just can’t.” Harry whispered to himself.


	9. Being free

Harry paced up and down his office, thinking about the last year and what all of this actually meant. Did he really love Draco that much for him to carry on seeing a patient of his behind his back.  After all he risked his colleagues coming in on a heated make out session. Harry thought long and hard about it. He knew Draco would be leaving Havenwood and only coming in twice a week for daily sessions. But could Harry really be Draco's doctor when he couldn't keep his hands off his patient?

 

Draco walked into Harry's office and pulled Harry into a hug, Harry hugged back wanting to hold Draco forever but he let go of Draco immediately and sat the boy down. harry took in a deep breath and stared at the beautiful boy in front of him.

 

"Draco, we can't do this." Harry said.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I just don't think it is appropriate. If anyone finds out what we've been doing in this office I could get sacked. I don't want to lose my job Draco I love it too much."

 

"I understand, but what does that mean for us."

 

"This time tomorrow, you're going to be a free man, so we can do normal couple things. Just when you come into my office for your sessions twice a week it must be strictly professional."

 

"That sounds like a plan, so can I say something professional?"

 

"That is what I'm here for Draco."

 

"I'm really scared to start a life outside of these walls. it's all I've known for a whole year and I'm afraid that if I leave, I'll forget everything and wind back here and although you're here I really don't want to be back in this place."

 

"Draco, you have got to believe in yourself, focus on the good things about your life. Think about other things, things that make you happy. Think about the progress you've made, heck, even think about me. Anything to get your mind off things, you can do this Draco! I believe in you!"

 

"What if I feel suicidal or want harm myself?"

 

"Then text me, you have my number I will reply as soon as I can, come in for a session, if you feel like you can't cope and really need my help, just pop in Draco, I may not be able to fit you in there and then but I will do my best."

 

"Thank you Harry. I am really going to miss this. seeing you everyday."

 

harry sighed pulled Draco into another hug and kissed the boy's soft lips, they then parted and stared at each other for a fleeting moment, the door to Draco's office opened and there stood nurse Weasley. Harry cleared his throat and stood away from Draco.

 

"Okay, that's it. Good luck out there Draco, remember to stay positive, don't forget to take your meds and I will see you next Wednesday for our first session." Harry said with a smile on his face.

 

"Thanks Ha-I mean Doctor Potter. Thank you for everything. see you." Draco said standing there awkwardly wanting to kiss harry but he knew that they weren't alone so instead he presented Harry with his hand to shake in which Harry shook, they both smiled at each other and then Draco took off, ready for his next adventure.

 

"What can I do for you nurse Weasley?" Harry asked closing his office door.

 

"Harry it's only us. You can call me Ginny."

 

"Um.. okay... What can I do for you Ginny?"

"Well I was just um... well I was wondering.... I was just thinking...."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

 

"A what?"

 

"You know a date, a candle lit dinner, just me and you, Harry under the stars."

 

"oh, I don't know."

 

"Forget the candle lit dinner then, just a regular dinner."

 

Ginny walked closer to Harry and pressed her lips onto his, Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny's waist and pulled her closer towards him, she felt her smile with the kiss, she then tore apart, kissed him on the cheek and said "Think about it." and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

 

Maybe he could have fun with this, Draco never actually made it clear on what he wanted with Harry, plus Harry always thought Ginny was kind of hot with her gorgeous long ginger hair. She seemed so sweet and confident. But she wasn't Draco... yes Draco was a boy but Harry thought about Draco a lot. Draco was Harry's person. Could he really hurt the person he cared for the most for someone he may not even like?

 

Harry punched the wall and leant into the wall. He was so confused, he was never sure on his sexuality, he always thought he liked girls and he couldn't deny the fact that Ginny was hot. He was always so certain until he met Draco, the day he met Draco everything changed. He didn't know what it was but there was something about Draco which made Harry weak at the knees. He knew he liked Draco more than just friends but was it really love?

 

Could Harry go through with dating both Ginny and Draco to see where he feelings lay? He knew that it would hurt Draco's feelings if he ever found out but perhaps he never has to know and give it a few months Harry would be certain in who he liked. But could he go through with it, after all Draco made clear that if it wasn't for Harry he would have ended his life already. Draco put all his trust in Harry and he fell head over heels for his Doctor. Draco had known Harry for a whole year and within that year he noticed that no one could ever live up to Harry. Harry was Draco's soulmate.

 

But did Harry really feel the same for Draco or would it end up in tears?


	10. the lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I am so sorry I haven't updated. I have been struggling with my mental health a lot recently, and I guess writing a story about depression is really close to home. I am really losing all hope for this story. I loved writing this story and I am grateful for this support you guys have given me. So for now this will be the last chapter of the book. I know I have left it on a bad ending but I can't do this right now. This isn't the end of the story though, I'll pick it up in the near future and I will write the second story. Thank you guys.
> 
> If you would ever like to contact me or just let me know about the story or just be a friend then don't hesitate to follow me on twitter @CalumsThorne
> 
> I hope you understand.

Harry kissed his way up Ginny's body as she lay there naked on her bed. She was madly in love with Harry and at times she felt like he loved her too but sometimes he was cold and didn't show any interest. Ginny wondered if there was someone else, but the more she thought about it the less she had to worry. Harry wouldn't be cheating on her, it wasn't in his nature. So she thought.

  
Harry looked up at Ginny and smiled when his phone started to vibrate again and again and again.

 

"Someone's popular." Ginny giggled.

 

Harry sighed and grabbed his phone, 23 missed calls from Draco, and 10 messages.

 

_From Draco: Harry I'm sorry._

_From Draco: I need you Harry. I need my doctor, my friend, my boyfriend..._

_From Draco: I tried calling you, why won't you answer me?_

_From Draco: You're probably busy at work, with another patient. I'm not the only person you care for._

_From Draco: I am so sorry, I keep texting you._

_From Draco: I've done something terrible, awful actually and I guess texting you will stop me from doing anything else that may cause me pain._

_From Draco: I hurt myself. I was doing so well but something just triggered. I felt like I was losing you._

_From Draco: Something is up and I can't figure it out. You're all I have left in this cruel world and my head is fucked._

_From Draco: I just don't know where I belong anymore, where we belong. I'm just alone and scared, this new life of mine isn't working, you never have time for me anymore. Please help me I'm going fucking crazy. Are you cheating on me. Are we over? I can cope with it. I just need to know. I guess I'm getting paranoid. I don't know what's wrong with me. My depression is really starting to take it's toll on me._

_from Draco: Please help me._

 

"Shit! I have to go." Harry said jumping up and starting to put on his clothes.

 

"But you just got here." Ginny whined.

 

"I know but a patient needs me." Harry said grabbing his coat and fumbling in the pockets to retrieve his keys to the car.

 

"You never have time for me. Do you even love me?"

 

"You know what our job is like Ginny, we never have a break." Harry replied avoiding Ginny's question.

 

"I know. You're a great Doctor Harry."

 

"And this was a mistake, I am in love with someone else. I am head over heels for Draco Malfoy. " Harry said running out the door.

 

He got into the car and sped down the road towards Draco's house, once he arrived he ran up to the door and saw it was open so ran inside. There sat in the corner of the kitchen was a scared little boy, his knees were pulled up to his chest and his arms were resting on them, he was covering his face and his shoulders were moving up and down. 

 

"Draco?" Harry said walking towards the boy.  Draco shot his head up and stared at Harry, his eyes were all bloodshot due to crying and he was surrounded by blood due to cutting himself.

 

"I messed up Harry, I tried to stop I really did. I thought I was feeling better. I thought if I could just stop my medication that everything would be fine, but then they started talking."

 

"Who started talking?" Harry asked, sitting down next to Draco.

 

"The voices. These god damn voices, it hurts Harry, it fucking hurts get them out please." Draco cried smacking his head continuously with his hand.

 

Harry grabbed Draco's hand and squeezed it tightly "What are the voices saying?"

 

"You're cheating on me, that I don't deserve to be happy. You don't love me. Cruel things that I can't even repeat."

 

"You shouldn't listen to them you deserve to be happy."

 

"So are you cheating on me?"

 

"I... Well... I.... Yes."

 

"Fuck!" Draco said slamming his head into the wall behind him.

 

"Can I explain?"

 

"What is there to explain? You clearly don't want me, Who would I'm just a depressed freak. Why would anyone want me?"

 

"I am so sorry Draco, I love you, I loved you the moment you stepped foot into my office, I came here today thinking I could lie to you but then I saw you with such pain in your eyes that I couldn't. You deserve to know the truth and the truth is, I slept with Ginny, it was just once, I am truly sorry."

 

"God, I am so stupid."

 

"you're not stupid."

 

"Yes I am. I let you into my life, I trusted you. I thought you were the person keeping me sane. I thought the love you gave me was a strong enough medication that I didn't need to take the fucking pills, but the voices were right you don't love me."

 

"Listen I don't know if you'll forgive me and I don't blame you. As soon as I saw your text messages I realised who my heart belonged to and that is you, you're my person Draco. Yes I cheated and I can't deny that, I can't take it back, I am so sorry but I am here right now begging for your forgiveness, I am here and I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up all night crying.  I will stay with you, if you need medication take it, I will be there with you through that too, and the reason for that is because I love you, if you feel like you don't want to take medication then guess what I will still love you. I will be by your side through it all and I will protect you now and until the end of time. You are my person Draco. I will be here for you even if you don't want me, I fucked up I know I did."

 

"Why did you do it? Cheat on me?"

 

"I've never been in love, I mean I'm in love with my job but I really don't think that counts. I always found girls attractive, never once looked at boys in that kind of way and when you came into my office I guess I fell in love, the way your white blond hair would always be so fluffy but sit perfectly on your head, the way whenever you speak you twiddle with your fingers, the way your grey eyes tell a thousand stories. I don't know there's something quite special about you and you amaze me. I just wanted to take those feelings away for a second, I don't know. The thought of telling the world about us scares me to death and Ginny wanted me. She was there she was attractive and I guess I felt like she could help me figure it out. She showed me that there was no one I'd rather be with then you. Today I took that step. I looked at Ginny straight in the eye and told her that I loved a you. I actually told someone I was in love with a boy."

 

Draco pulled Harry into a hug and their lips touched, Harry longed for this moment, his lips touching Draco's it was where they were meant to be. Harry was head over heels for his patient and he couldn't be happier.

 

"I'm still mad at you." Draco laughed.

 

Harry chuckled and kissed Draco again, this is was his happy place, alone with Draco in the arms of his best friend, doctor and boyfriend. Together for ever until the end of time, just like Harry had said.

"Harry, I can't do this without you. My parents are gone, my whole life is slowly slipping away from me. I am so lonely in this house. Move in with me?"


	11. I've missed you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I was going to write a completely new book but I couldn't think of a title for it, so I just thought I would carry on with the same book. I am so sorry it has been a while since I uploaded I've just been super busy and haven't had time. But I am back now and will update as much as I can.

Harry wondered how different his life would be if he had said yes to moving in with Draco, instead all he did was walk away. It had been three months since that day and the two boys hadn't spoken. A day didn't go by though where Harry didn't think of Draco, they loved each other unconditionally once and the love they shared couldn't just disappear.  Harry didn't let this bother him though, Draco had probably moved on. he didn't need his best friend and doctor anymore. 

Draco sat in his wardrobe hiding from the monsters that were constant in his head. The wardrobe was his safe place, he felt as though the monsters would be quiet when he was in the confined wardrobe. It was cramped and dark; but the voices wouldn't find him here. Draco's fingers hovered shakily over Harry's name in his phone, he missed Harry and even though Harry made the decision to not speak to Draco, he still really missed the boy and Draco never stopped thinking about Harry. Never stopped wondering if they would still be together, if Draco wasn't so fucked up would they have fallen in love?

Draco clicked on Harry's name and put the phone to his ear and waited patiently, his heart pounding against his chest. He shook his head, was about to hang up when he heard a voice on the line.

"Hey Draco." Harry said.

Draco just breathed heavily not answering, what could he possibly say? He didn't even know why he called. he just missed Harry and wanted to hear his voice, he didn't think he would answer the phone.

"What's going on Draco? Is everything okay? Why did you call?"

Once again Draco didn't answer.

"I miss you Draco."

Draco let out a loud sigh and said with a shaky voice "I miss you too. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"I am so glad you called Draco, I've been meaning to call you, I just didn't think you would want to hear from me, the moment I left you alone, I wanted to come back and apologise tell you that I loved you, I just couldn't face it."

"I waited Harry, I needed you and you weren't there, I was so vulnerable, scared and alone and you just left me. Left me all alone with the monsters, you didn't help me and you didn't even bother to call. It's like you forgot all about me."

"I made a huge mistake, I wanted to come back but I didn't have the courage, I guess a part of me didn't want to watch you fall back into depression, I thought you'd never get better, I didn't want be the reason in why you weren't getting better. We had nothing to talk about anymore Draco, I was your baby sitter, it didn't feel  like a relationship. I cut all conversation with you because I thought that's what you needed."

"You were my happiness though, don't you get that? It's you it's always been you, you're my person the love of my life, you're the reason for my existence without you I am nothing. I need you, I need you to guide me in the right direction, I can't be the person I'm meant to be without you. Please Harry, we don't have to live together just... I don't know let's start from the beginning again."

"I'm sorry Draco, I can't. I need time. I'm seeing someone else."

"Fine, but there's a party at my house tomorrow, I would love for you to come, bring friends, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. Anyone I don't care."

"If I'm not working, I'll come along."

Draco hung up the phone, wiped his tears and slammed his head into the wardrobe wall, he closed his eyes and let the tears flow. What did the new person have that Draco didn't? They probably weren't depressed like Draco, they were probably happy. They probably had a decent house, They probably didn't get a regular income from their parents, they were bound to have a house. Draco was nothing, he was worthless and Harry deserved so much more.

Draco stepped outside of the wardrobe and walked to his bathroom, grabbed a razor blade and carved it into his skin, he watched as the blood trickled down the sink and smiled forgetting what the pain felt like, wishing he had done it sooner. However cutting wasn't all it cracked up to be. There was a sting when Draco first carved his wrist with the razor, and then his heart sped up when he saw the blood as he did something he shouldn't have and yet he got away with it. Then he goes into a sort of trance because it's truly dazzling that crimson red line, looking all new and fresh on his wrist, it was beautiful. And that feeing after how could Draco describe it? It was heavenly, it felt as if everything he had bottled up inside of him was now out in the open, he could just take in a deep breath and relax.

However, as soon as reality kicked in that feeling would change. His world would suddenly then become dark as Draco realised what he had done, as he presses down on the cut to try and get rid of the blood, as the embarrassment takes over his body, its a backbeat underneath his pulse. Whatever relief Draco had a minute ago had now disappeared. He literally made himself sick, because he promised himself that last time would be the last time, and once again he let himself down.

So he hides the evidence of his weakness underlayers of clothes, long enough to cover up the cuts, as he doesn't want people to see how broken and damaged he really is, Draco didn't want people to think that he was attention seeking and even though it may sound scary and difficult it's really not. It's really easy to feel nothing and then everything all at once.

Draco wished he was this strong independent individual who didn't rely on the blade but he wasn't. The scars were a part of him, he wished he was stronger, he wished he wasn't this way but he was and he had to live with it.

The day of the party arrived, Draco sat in his wardrobe clutching a bottle of wine. The music was blaring downstairs, laughter filled the air. Draco didn't know how many people were at his party and he didn't actually care, it was just a way of him leaving without anyone noticing. He didn't want to live anymore. He took in a deep breath and stood in his bathroom, holding the blade to his wrist, if he cut the vein he would bleed out and his heart would stop. He threw it onto the floor and grabbed a handful of pills, took the bottle of wine and shoved the alcohol and pills down his throat. he then sat on his bed and closed his eyes hoping this would lead him into a deep sleep.

Draco's eyes fluttered open, he rubbed them hard trying to adjust to the light, once he was feeling better he looked around and saw four white walls, a heart monitor and a tearful Harry sat on the end of his bed.

"Hey you." Draco whispered not managing to speak any louder.

Harry's head shot up, he didn't say anything instead he pulled Draco into a hug and cried with tears of joy squeezing Draco tightly. 

"I thought I lost you. I came to your party and you weren't there, I searched everywhere for you and found you passed out. I tried to wake you up but there was no response. I thought you were dead." Harry sobbed.

"Why do you care?" Draco scoffed.

"Because I love you, god damn it. I love you so much and it kills me to see you like this."

"If you cared for me that much, you wouldn't have left me three months ago. I wouldn't be in this hospital bed, I was really trying Harry. I was trying to get better, I was almost better but then you left and everything turned to shit. I didn't want to live because you were the reason for my existence. You were the only person who cared for me and I l needed that. I needed to feel something and I had nothing when you left. You are the love of my life Harry."

"I don't know what to say?"

"Don't say anything just kiss me."

Harry took in a deep breath and leaned forward kissing Draco's soft lips, they both smiled into the kiss it was the most perfect kiss of all, so passionate it was as if they hadn't shared a kiss before. The kiss said a thousand words and the boys didn't have to say anything because they knew how they felt.

"What about your partner?" Draco asked pulling away, suddenly remember their previous conversation.

"I wasn't seeing anyone. I made that up, I didn't want you to feel anything towards me, I thought if I told you that lie you would move on. But I'm glad you didn't. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Harry."

"Listen, this isn't going to be easy and I know this will test our relationship but if you're willing to make this work then let's move in together, just and me. I want you, I want all of you Draco forever and always."

Draco nodded and smiled pulling Harry into one more kiss, knowing that he would have many more kisses to come and hopefully more much much more.


End file.
